Agony Aunt – How Can I Unleash My Inner Domme ?

agony aunt fetish questions

Dear Agony Aunt,

I'd love to be more dominant towards my husband and try some role play, but I've got no idea where to start, and I'm scared of making myself look silly!



Hi C,

First of all, have fun with it! Perhaps the best place to start is to create your persona – sometimes making up an alter ego can help feeling less awkward about the new experience. Whatever helps you feel more confident—some sexy lingerie, latex, or even a wig – put it on and enjoy playing make believe! Take some inspiration from empowering women, and decide what kind of Domme you want to be, are you a Mistress, Goddess, or something else entirely?

As for where to start, maybe one of our couples bondage kits can help to break the ice (make sure your husband wants to partake in this kind of play first, and discuss limits!), or you can create tasks for him to do, and if they aren’t completed to your standards – a punishment is due! If you're struggling with what spankers and toys to use, never fear – Intro To BDSM is here to take your through those first steps of exploring your kinks.

The chances are, that if you're enjoying what you're doing, you won't look silly at all! Forcing things is where people tend to come unstuck with role-play – my general rule is “If you're not feeling it, don't do it!” - and that goes for both Dominants and Submissives.

I wish you all the best!

Agony Aunt


One Comment

mark goffin

dear c,ive been in the submissive scean for some years now. you might want to try a hood for him,my fav is the leather one with only a mouth hole.try some wrist bondage especialy tied to the bed post etc or a restraint that hangs over the bedroom door. nipple play and/or clamps are great fun.the wife loves a pair of shorts i bhave, think their shiny pvc type with a hole in the front. i always find high thigh boots,a leather mini skirt etc a big turn on and sure your other half would also love them and break the ice or him… think best part of domination is when the woman has full control of her man


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